Review – Jeepers Creepers 3

American Zoetrope

When it comes to Jeepers Creepers 3, there is good news and bad news. The good news: it, thank god, was better than the second installment. The bad news: if you were hoping that the Creeper and his story will be explained, those hopes will be dashed and your curiosity will either inflate with anticipation for the next film, or deflate from all the mystery and confusion.

Starting immediately where the first film left off, this one features Sargent Tubbs teaming up with a “Kill the Creeper” squad led by Sheriff Tashtego. A lot of focus is concentrated on the Creeper’s origins, but nothing concrete is explained, nothing that we didn’t already know, anyway. Yes, we knew that he is ancient, and yes we knew that he’s been chillin’ and killin’ for thousands of years.

What we didn’t know before this film is how badass and resourceful BEATNGU actually is. The Batmobile from Hell, this thing was one of my favorite parts of the film as we get to see the different deadly gadgets that is at the Creepers disposal. Which, if the Creeper spends his days ripping and eating people’s limbs and body parts, it would make sense that his car would, as a character unwittingly speculates, be a “Frankenstein car”. And what happens when you try to kill Frankenstein’s monster? Don’t ask me, just look in the tailpipe.

The script is not that strong, and while Derry and Trish were memorable and likable, Salva sadly hasn’t been able to achieve that same characterization since. Most of the characters in #3 are throw-away, their deaths being more of a spectacle to which the Creeper can demonstrate his hyper-predatory instincts. Also, the use of slow-motion left a lot to be desired: mostly, less slow motion.

The Creeper might be at his most menacing in this film, however. His black, demonic face contrasting sharply with his newly-dawned blood red shirt – this guy has nothing to hide and, knowing that everyone is basically helpless (a gatling gun doesn’t even phase him an inch), literally takes who and what it wants at any time. If one were to ever be able to choose a demonic/alien/mutated dragon thing to be for a day, the Creeper would surely be a fine choice.

So, even though the film brought brought up (WAY) more questions than answers, it serves as a nice stepping stone to the next, and possibly last film where the Creeper might eventually meet his proverbial maker.

**Rating: 73/100**

>>Person to see this movie with:  Someone who owns a BEATNGU license plate.

‘The Further’ is Coming Hither – Insidious 4: The Last Key

In January of next year, we will see the return of Elise, the demon hunter.
While the third Insidious film didn’t quite reach the quality of the first two films, it did promise a continuation of the newly-founded ghost hunting trio that has become the prime focus of the series after the second film.
These guys do for ghosts what Clark does for bugs. The film’s title should really be called “Insidious 4: Elise, We Need You!”

Review – IT

Why do kids like clowns?  Why do parents hire them for birthday parties?  Why do kids flock to them and ask them to make a balloon of the Milky Way galaxy?  I have never understood it, and I probably never will.

Clowns cannot be trusted.  Their faces are literally a façade that masks their real emotions and intentions, which, let’s face it, can sometimes be murderous (See:  John Wayne Gacy).

Hopefully, with the popularity and success of Stephen King’s IT reaching record-breaking heights, what I like to call Clown Danger Awareness will be more appreciated and widespread.

The director is Andy Muschietti, who also directed and co-wrote the film Mama.  The editing in Muschietti’s movies  provokes fear in a way that is atypical of today’s horror movies: by movement of the malevolent objects on the screen.  Instead of reverting to the fast-cutting technique to amp up the shock like we see in almost every horror film now, he leaves the camera on Pennywise as he slinks like a slug offscreen, or when Pennywise uncontorts himself and menacingly approaches the camera.  It’s scary enough seeing something that’s not supposed to be there, but it’s another to have it chase you.  And, when it comes to a story about your biggest fear finding YOU, it’s much more frightening having it both mentally *and* physically pursue and unhinge you.

The kid actors were exceptional, with group chemistry and individual likability that leaves the viewer sympathetic to their supernatural and not-so-supernatural plights.   Even little Georgie, who has only a small amount of screen time, is the epitome of childhood innocence and naivety;  this is why, despite the hope that maybe he will be smart enough to run when he sees a clown in the sewer, that he cannot survive.  Innocence, however pure and good, sometimes is no match for pure evil.

One of the things that sets this horror film apart is the fact that child murders and child exploitation are at the forefront of the plot – not something that is very popular in mainstream media.  You never see it, and even if the story requires it, you rarely ever get to actually SEE it onscreen.  When it comes to cinema, child killings have been a taboo subject since its inception.

Not the case for this film.  IT strays from the norm and stays true to its source material and includes extremely ruthless scenes that had me think “Wow, they just did that”.  But, if you are going to brutalize children, you should go all the way with it.

From flying to the back of your seat and almost defecating yourself, to almost being moved to tears when Bill is confronted by Pennywise posing as little Georgie in a heart-wrenching battle of wills, IT hits all the points on the horror film spectrum.

Beep Beep, Richie!

**Rating: 94/100**

>> Person to see this movie with:  Your uncle who used to be a rodeo clown.

Jigsaw trailer

Seven years after the “end” of the Saw storyline, it appears that…yes…there is now a copycat Jigsaw killer out there.

Jigsaw, coming out at the end of October, will be the eighth film in the Saw saga.  The movie is being described as a re-imagining of the franchise, and with new directors/writers at the helm, there is a small chance that it might return to the old ways of the first couple films:  less ridiculous, gratuitous torture and more tense, serial killer mystery.

Whether this trailer leaves you excited or rolling your eyes, Billy the Puppet will ride again.


Jeepers Creepers 3- One Night in Theaters

Jeepers, it’s the Creeper…Again!

Calling all Jeepers Creepers fans!  After what seemed like 23 years of waiting (14 years, in actuality), the long-anticipated third installment of one of the most underrated horror franchises is finally coming to theaters!  Yes, folks, Jeepers Creepers 3 is upon us.

It is set to take place after Jeepers Creepers but before Jeepers Creepers 2, serving as an in-betweener tale.  But lo, there is a slight downside: it is only being screened for one night – Tuesday, September 26th at 7:00 PM.

Luckily, most of the theaters in the Sacramento area will be showing it, but make sure to use your peepers and double check the website below for the closest location near you.